10 Things I've Learnt Over the Years (part 1)

Yes.

It's true.

I've said goodbye to the teenage years, and in just 3 months and a bit it'll be the big 21st. I look back now and I wonder how in the world did the years come and go so fast. It seems like it was just my first day of school not too long ago, and here I am, on the brink of "official adulthood."How did time sneak me by so stealthily and how is it already November?

Scary.

Well, today I sat down at my desk after a good day, streams of red sunlight peeking in from behind the blinds, washing the walls of my room with a warm ember. I climbed up onto my desk, sitting there cross-legged, pulled up the blinds, and just sat there for what seems like a long time, watching the sun slowly droop and drop, taking its sunlight with it--turning the sky from a pink, to a muted red, to the colour of a warm fire and then, just like that, turning it from day to night.

As the sun made it's way down, I thought about life, pondering on the past, thinking back to long-gone days. The memories flood my mind and that's when I decided that today, I would right about things and lesson's that I have learnt over the years. A sort-of guide to life ala Sarah.

So here goes, 10 things that I have learnt over the years (part 1): 

Number 1: Grades aren't everything

Uh huh, I said it. If you're Asian, or have Asian parents, you might be thinking, "Have you met my parents????" Well, no, I haven't (maybe some of them), but it's true. Grades really aren't everything. Your high school life is precious. There are so many memories that I have from my high school days, things that I wouldn't change for the world. Yeah, I admit, I wish I had gotten better grades for some subjects or learnt the key to studying earlier, but it's all behind me now. There's no use moping about a test you could have done better on when it's already over. It's in the past. Take the feeling of remorse that you feel now and channel it into the efforts on your next test.

Yes, better grades gets you into a better college or university. Sure, Harvard and Yale and Oxford and Cambridge are really good schools, but it's not made for everyone. The most important thing that you should know is that the best thing you can do, is to give it your best. Give it your all, put your whole heart into it and I promise you, the rewards will be worth it. But don't sit around and cry because you got a 97 and not a 100. It's not the end of the world, and it's certainly not the end of you.

Number 2: Patience, is key

Patience is one of the big ones that I had to learn the hard way. I always wanted to grow up so fast, and craved things that my older siblings had or were doing that I wasn't allowed to. I wanted to be one of the cool kids. I wanted so many things that I wasn't ready for yet. When I think back now, I wish I hadn't wanted to grow up so quick. 

If you want something, bad, the best way you can get it is to persevere, to not give up, and to be patient. Just like when you pray for something, God is always listening. He's always there and He hears you, but sometimes, it's not the right time. There's something else we need to learn or experience or do or become first. Be patient, if it's worth having, it is most certainly worth waiting. And think about that feeling of satisfaction when you finally do get it. Like a kid saving up RM600 in a jar to get that Nintendo DS, that feeling of accomplishment is worth more than getting things easy. The lessons you learn along the way are more precious. 

Number three: Faith

Another thing that I've learnt is that faith is really important. What is faith exactly? 

faith

Pronunciation: /feɪθ/

noun

[mass noun]

• 1complete trust or confidence in someone or something:this restores one’s faith in politicians

• 2strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof:bereaved people who have shown supreme faith
•  [count noun] a particular religion:the Christian faith
•  [count noun] a strongly held belief:men with strong political faiths
  

This year especially, living away from my family and all, I've learnt to trust God--to have faith in the knowledge that He's got a plan for my life, that I am not alone, and that He will always be there and will never leave me. It's been incredible to delve into such a deep relationship and get closer to God, but most of all, it's been amazing to see the things that He has done in my life when I just trust Him and follow.

Number four: Friends will come and go

If it's one thing that I've definitely struggled with over the years is friends. Being in an international school from ages 6-9 and 16-19, I've had so many friends that I have trusted and bonded with so well leave, whether they went back to their home country or we just drifted apart. It wasn't easy and when I was younger it confused me a lot, I wondered if it was something that I had done to cause them to leave. I wondered if there was something I could have done to convince them to stay. I was never the greatest at choosing friends and would always pick the fun, wild, outgoing friends. I've been hurt countless times and because of that, I've come to fear making friends. For a while I convinced myself that I was better off alone, and pushed those who really did care for me away.

I now realise that no matter what I could have done or said, some friends are only in your life for a given season and others are there for a reason. Friends will come and go. You'll gain some and you will lose some. The thing that you can do is to cherish the good, keep the happy memories and let the unhappy ones go. Don't dwell on their leaving. Dwell on the fact that they were ever in your life. Be grateful for the things you learnt when you were still friends and move on.

Cherish the people close to you. You will find people with similar interests and share the same beliefs. Don't let them go. But sometimes it will be time to say goodbye.

Number five: Forgiveness


Forgiveness is another big one. I might do a whole post solely on that later on, but we shall see if I ever get to that. The thing I've learnt over the years is that holding a grudge only hurts one person: yourself. Being angry at someone for what they did 5 years ago only makes it worse for yourself. It doesn't make what they did right, but that doesn't mean that you can't forgive them and move on.

So, if you're angry at someone, take some time to write down what they did to you, how it made you feel and then tear that up, burn it, flush it down the toilet (although I wouldn't recommend this as you could end up spending the night trying to get chards of torn paper out, not fun, I promise), anything. Do it as a sort of symbol of letting it go. Remember the lesson so you can avoid repeating the same thing in the future, but don't harp on it 15 years down the road. It's over. It's time you let it go and gave yourself the air to breathe. Trust me, you'll feel so much better and definitely a whole lot happier.

To be continued...

Be blessed, be loved.

x

Sarah

The Voice in Your Head That says, "You can't" is a Liar

*huff puff*

"Okay, another 500 meters and that'll be 2 kilometers. Come on, Sarah, you can do it."

*huff puff*

* huff puff*

The faint blaring of some overly synthesised track is playing in the background. I look up from the screen of the treadmill and look towards the glass panel towards my right. I can see the reflection of golden rays from the sun on the building across the street, and somewhere beyond, the tip of the red-bricked building, that is my university, is barely visible.

I suddenly come back to reality, when the realisation hits me that "I've finished my first year at university" today.

When I finally come to a halt, I pause and look over to Yong Zhin and tell her, "This tape is amazing! It's like I was never injured in the first place! That was the longest I've ever run without stopping!!" She looks over at me and smiles and we continue to chatter about our excitement of having finally found Questbars in Adelaide.

On the walk home, my newest jam Taste My Sad by Bear//Face is playing. As I stroll down Rundle Mall towards the vicinity of home, I look around me--the song acting like some sort of movie soundtrack of my life (I do that a lot, I find). I see the 8-year old boy who is singing a worship song that I've heard so many times over the years, the guy who sounds almost exactly like Jason Mraz, I look around taking in the sunshine and the cool breeze that turned Adelaide back to it's July winter days. I also notice the many, many, many people who stare at my shins, the curious befuddled look on their face wondering why this Asian girl walking down the street has hot pink strips of tape stuck to her legs is almost hard to ignore, but I carry on my way even though their constant staring kinda gets me on edge.

I drift off into deep thought again.

Why do I care what they think? I don't even know them. It's not like I'll see them again.

It made me think, why is self-image so important? And why is it such a big deal in our society these days? Why is it that 90% of girls are unhappy with the way they look? There's nothing wrong with them.

Why do we strive for such finite things?

Why?

For so long I had convinced myself that if I looked a certain way or if I got certain grades, then I would be happy. There is something twistedly wrong with that perspective. Being 10kg skinnier or having straight A's won't bring you happiness. Okay, maybe it will, but only temporarily. We've all taken on the perspective that if you dress a certain way or talk with a certain flair, it makes you better, it makes you happier, but the truth is that, honestly, it doesn't. At the end of the day, when no one is around, when strangers aren't staring at the brand of your bag, are you happy?

“Why do you put your self-esteem in the hands of complete strangers?”
Helena Bonham Carter

I think it is time that we broke away from that way of viewing the world, that it was time we took on a new perspective and started seeing people for who they are, but most importantly, I think it's time that we all started believing in ourselves. It's time that we invested in ourselves, in our character, the way we act, the way we look at life--the way we look at ourselves.

Don't skip a meal because you feel guilty for that plate of Char Koay Teow you had half an hour ago. Don't hate yourself for staying up too late watching your favourite series online. Don't push people away because you're afraid of getting hurt.

It is okay.

The day you decide to let go of societies view on things is the day you will feel a burden lift off your back. I'm not saying eat fast food everyday or watch your Korean drama all day long when you really should be studying for that upcoming exam, but I'm saying that it's okay to indulge sometimes.

“I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.” —Alex Elle

Start trusting yourself and go after your dreams.

So don't beat yourself up, okay? Give yourself some credit. You're doing great. You can't give up now, you're almost to the top.

Love yourself, and true happiness will come.

Be loved, be blessed.

x
Sarah

Another Chapter is Coming to a Close

So this is it.

The last thursday of the semester. Tomorrow is the last day of my first year in university. How did time fly by so quickly? 

It seems like just yesterday that I boarded a Boeing 737 en route to Adelaide and yet, here I am, on the brink of finishing up my first year. 

Next comes exams, and soon, I'll be back in the comforts of Penang again--and this time for longer than just a 3 week stretch.

It's been a tough year. 

If you've never left home, you'd understand, and yet if you've packed your life up and moved so many times you can't remember, then maybe you wouldn't. Penang has been my home for the past 18 years (I don't remember ever living in KL, since I was an infant, so I don't think that counts as home). It's hard to have to start over from scratch, a new environment, new school, new teachers, new subjects, a new room, but most of all and perhaps the scariest of them all: having to make new friends. To say that making friends was never my forte would probably be the understatement of well, my whole existence really. And so, with that said, I spent the majority of my first semester being cautious, trying to blend in to the background and just observe everyone else. Come on, you'd be lying if you said you've never done this before. Even at some social event of which, apart from the friend who brought you, was filled with hordes of people you had never laid eyes on before? Yep, thought so. 

As the second semester rolled around and I was still recovering from my "jet lag" of a whole one and a half hours (wow, Sarah, major time difference there) I vowed that I would try harder this term. That I would put myself out there and, well, mingle around. And it turned out being one of the best decisions I've made here so far. I met new friends and got closer with the ones I already had. I lost some friends and I gained some. I felt betrayed by a few, but I've been working on forgiveness with that (it has never exactly been my area of expertise), I'll let you know how that all pans out. 

I've found some amazing girls here

Victor Harbor trip that I won't forget

The year 2013 has been a year of lessons. It has been a year of letting go and a year of growing up, taking chances and never looking back. 

"The best way to predict your future, is to create it."

-Abraham Lincoln

And so, I conclude this overly-long-winded-so-called-introduction-that-turned-out-to-be-too-deep.
I hope you'll come back soon.

Have some picture spam.

Can't wait to see all of them at Christmas again. 

And super stoked to get to see this guy again. 

Until my next post.

Be blessed :)

x 

Sarah