The Voice in Your Head That says, "You can't" is a Liar

*huff puff*

"Okay, another 500 meters and that'll be 2 kilometers. Come on, Sarah, you can do it."

*huff puff*

* huff puff*

The faint blaring of some overly synthesised track is playing in the background. I look up from the screen of the treadmill and look towards the glass panel towards my right. I can see the reflection of golden rays from the sun on the building across the street, and somewhere beyond, the tip of the red-bricked building, that is my university, is barely visible.

I suddenly come back to reality, when the realisation hits me that "I've finished my first year at university" today.

When I finally come to a halt, I pause and look over to Yong Zhin and tell her, "This tape is amazing! It's like I was never injured in the first place! That was the longest I've ever run without stopping!!" She looks over at me and smiles and we continue to chatter about our excitement of having finally found Questbars in Adelaide.

On the walk home, my newest jam Taste My Sad by Bear//Face is playing. As I stroll down Rundle Mall towards the vicinity of home, I look around me--the song acting like some sort of movie soundtrack of my life (I do that a lot, I find). I see the 8-year old boy who is singing a worship song that I've heard so many times over the years, the guy who sounds almost exactly like Jason Mraz, I look around taking in the sunshine and the cool breeze that turned Adelaide back to it's July winter days. I also notice the many, many, many people who stare at my shins, the curious befuddled look on their face wondering why this Asian girl walking down the street has hot pink strips of tape stuck to her legs is almost hard to ignore, but I carry on my way even though their constant staring kinda gets me on edge.

I drift off into deep thought again.

Why do I care what they think? I don't even know them. It's not like I'll see them again.

It made me think, why is self-image so important? And why is it such a big deal in our society these days? Why is it that 90% of girls are unhappy with the way they look? There's nothing wrong with them.

Why do we strive for such finite things?

Why?

For so long I had convinced myself that if I looked a certain way or if I got certain grades, then I would be happy. There is something twistedly wrong with that perspective. Being 10kg skinnier or having straight A's won't bring you happiness. Okay, maybe it will, but only temporarily. We've all taken on the perspective that if you dress a certain way or talk with a certain flair, it makes you better, it makes you happier, but the truth is that, honestly, it doesn't. At the end of the day, when no one is around, when strangers aren't staring at the brand of your bag, are you happy?

“Why do you put your self-esteem in the hands of complete strangers?”
Helena Bonham Carter

I think it is time that we broke away from that way of viewing the world, that it was time we took on a new perspective and started seeing people for who they are, but most importantly, I think it's time that we all started believing in ourselves. It's time that we invested in ourselves, in our character, the way we act, the way we look at life--the way we look at ourselves.

Don't skip a meal because you feel guilty for that plate of Char Koay Teow you had half an hour ago. Don't hate yourself for staying up too late watching your favourite series online. Don't push people away because you're afraid of getting hurt.

It is okay.

The day you decide to let go of societies view on things is the day you will feel a burden lift off your back. I'm not saying eat fast food everyday or watch your Korean drama all day long when you really should be studying for that upcoming exam, but I'm saying that it's okay to indulge sometimes.

“I am not afraid of my truth anymore and I will not omit pieces of me to make you comfortable.” —Alex Elle

Start trusting yourself and go after your dreams.

So don't beat yourself up, okay? Give yourself some credit. You're doing great. You can't give up now, you're almost to the top.

Love yourself, and true happiness will come.

Be loved, be blessed.

x
Sarah